


Nothing's Gonna Change My World

by stylesforstiles



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Fluff and Angst, M/M, but mostly love, except the Beatles songs, it is the 60s after all, none of it happened in real life, side ziall!, some of it didn't, some of this happened in the movie, there is some mentions of getting high high high (paul mccartney song pun there)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-06
Updated: 2015-03-06
Packaged: 2018-03-16 13:14:53
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,093
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3489572
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/stylesforstiles/pseuds/stylesforstiles
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Louis was searching for answers. He found Harry along the way.</p><p>AU</p><p>loosely based on Across the Universe</p>
            </blockquote>





	Nothing's Gonna Change My World

**Author's Note:**

> So, this is one of my favorite movies ever and by no means does this follow it accurately. But I wanted to write something based on it. I hope it's alright, and I hope you enjoy finding all the song lyrics. Cheers :)

**Liverpool**

 

“How long are you going to be away?”

“Why, are you going to miss my pretty face?”

Hannah pushed him with a snort, “Hardly,”

Louis wrapped his arms around her, crooning softly into her ear, “Close your eyes and I’ll kiss you, tomorrow I’ll miss you—“

“As if you’d ever kiss me,”

Louis muffled a laugh into her neck, squeezing her tighter. “And then while I’m away, I’ll write home every day, and I’ll send all my loving to you.”

She breathed out a heavy sigh as she untangled Louis’ arms from her shoulders. She held his face between her hands, scanning her eyes over his face. “You always were a shit liar, Lou.”

He beamed at her, shifting his bag onto his shoulder. “I’d say we both were, seeing as our friends actually believed we were boyfriend and girlfriend for a short time,”

She leaned over to kiss his cheek, tugging his beanie down over his ears afterwards. “You’ve got me there. Take care of yourself, Lou.”

He winked. “It’s just America, babe,”

She turned him around, edging him down the dock.

“ _Go_.”

 

*

**Boston**

 

Louis squinted at the Indian summer sun, casting his eyes around the bustling grounds of the university. He was here, in America, after a long many days of travel, and even though he had been dreaming about it for years, now that he was here he didn’t know where to start.

He turned towards what he thought was the office building, and smacked himself into a pile of books. He bent down to help pick them up, meeting a cocked eyebrow and playful smirk.

“It’s the first day buddy, no need to rush anywhere,”

Louis stood up and passed over the book he was clutching, assessing the bright eyed blonde in front of him. She didn’t look like a first year student, so perhaps she would know the person he was here to see.

“Can’t say that I go here, I was actually looking for Troy Austin. I think he’s a teacher?”

She gave him a once over, a snarky smile still plastered on her lips. “Unless he’s teaching the fine art of scrubbing floors, you’re not going to find him in any classroom,”

Louis followed the motion of her hand, watching her thumb over to a person on a ladder behind her. She slapped his back, maneuvering around him. “Good luck.”

He steeled himself, though he wasn’t sure what to even be nervous about. He didn’t know this man. But, he did give birth to him; he allegedly swept his mother off her feet. So, he needed to see for himself, why.

He cleared his throat, waiting for him to step down off the ladder. “Troy Austin?”

He set his tools down, brushing his hands off on his jeans. “Yes, that’s me. And you are?”

Louis scratched his head, shifting back and forth on his heels. “Umm, your son…I’m your son.”

…

It wasn’t the tearful reunion that one would expect from meeting the son you didn’t know you had – Louis found out he had a family that he loved and made it very clear it did not want that disrupted, but still offered him a place to stay in his overnight room at the school.

Because now that he had accomplished his one mission, he didn’t know where to go next. The world was his figurative oyster.

He sucked on his cigarette, blowing smoke rings into the murky night sky, when a series of loud footsteps and barking laughs gave him pause.  

Turning around, he watched as the group of people got closer, a familiar face etched in panic instead of that signature smirk.

“Hey, you again, help me hide!”

Louis didn’t get a word in before he was being dragged back into the workroom that was currently his temporary home. He sat on the edge of the bed, grabbing the long neck of a beer bottle that was sitting on the side table. He took a sip, pointing towards the door.

“What was that about, then?”

She walked over to the bed, plucking the bottle out of his hands. She took a sip, wiping her mouth with the back of her hand. “Oh, just a little afterhours fun with the campus security, thanks for helping me out though.”

“And who exactly am I helping out?”

She grinned, handing him back the bottle and sticking her hand out. “Gemma Styles. Bored college student,”

He gave a short laugh, shaking her hand back. “Louis Tomlinson. Jobless wanderer.”

She dropped his hand, placing her hands on her hips. She cocked her head, taking in his appearance. She seemed satisfied enough after a few moments. “Well, Louis Tomlinson, do you want to see what college life is really about?”

…

They ended up at lively pub, a group of guys and a few girls, though Gemma was clearly the star of the show. She sat at the head of the table, introducing Louis to the others and watched with amusement as her friend Dan shamelessly flirted and groped the waitress, who looked about old enough to be Louis’ mother.

Gemma nudged his shoulder, passing him a fresh pint. “We’ve been coming here for ages, they don’t mind a bit of flirting,”

Louis shrugged, leaning back in his chair. “No difference to me, they’re not really my type. Being female and all.”

She twisted around to look at him fully, only a slight look of surprise in her eyes. “Oh yeah? My little brother, he’s also, you know—“

“Gay? You can say it you know, I’m quite comfortable with myself.”

She fiddled with her necklace, eyebrows scrunched in concern. “No, it’s not that, just... well, not everyone here is as forward thinking as maybe they are in England. My family has a hard time accepting that Harry likes boys. Even though he has a long term boyfriend,”

“I’m sorry.”

What else could he say? Louis had it easy in that sense. She shook out of it shortly after, taking a long sip of her beer. She bounced to her feet, reaching for his hand, “Come on, we’re going to hit some golf balls.”

What the hell, who were these people? Louis shook his head, following her lead. He was going to trust her; sometimes you just have to get by with a little help from your friends.

Even if you’ve only known these particular friends for a few hours.

…

It didn’t take long for Gemma and Louis to be attached at the hip because they figured that they had a lot in common. That being they both didn’t know what they wanted to do with their lives. In the meantime, they were insanely good at distracting each other from responsibility. 

The weather got a little colder, the leaves turned crimson and left the trees bare, and suddenly it was Thanksgiving, a holiday Louis was unfamiliar with, but one that Gemma insisted he come home with her to celebrate. 

She had wanted to surprise her little brother, so they decided to pick him up from school that afternoon. They leaned against the car, Louis flicking his cigarette butt to the ground and ignoring the dirty looks he got from a group of prim and proper looking school girls.

Gemma chortled, standing on her tip toes to glance through the crowd that was pouring out of the school. “Careful Lou, you’re going to be the hot British import if these girls get a hold of your accent,”

“I _am_ the hot British import—“ Louis trailed off, his eyes locking on a head of curly hair and a pair of pretty pink lips. The boy and his friend edged closer, while Louis took a deep breath. All he saw was miles of leg wrapped in blue jeans, a preppy cardigan and wait, was that a bloody bow tie?

He thinks he was in love.

That was until they go closer and Curly launched himself at Gemma.

“Mom didn’t tell me you were coming!”

Louis watched with wide eyes as Gemma hugged him tightly and gave him a suspicious side eye all at the same time. She released him, holding him out at arm’s length. “Gosh, look how grown up you are. I refuse to believe you’re graduating soon,”

“Gosh? You say gosh now?”

Gemma turned to lightly punch him in the shoulder, “H, this is Louis. He’s joining us for dinner.”

Harry gave him a cheeky smile, and with that prominent dimple that followed he could definitely already tell they were related. “Hello Louis. And, she’s never said gosh in her life, in fact she swears like a sailor to piss our mother off,”

Louis doesn’t think he’s ever seen anyone this pretty in his life. The urge to reach out and touch was tempting. Instead he offered a cheeky smile right back. “And, what about you? Are you a good boy?”

Gemma punched Louis this time, not very lightly, turning Harry towards the car. “Alright, that’s enough of that. My little brother, Louis, honestly.”

Harry caught his eyes in the rearview mirror on the short drive to their parents place. Louis winked.

Harry smiled to himself the whole way there.

…

Dinner was a rather interesting affair. Louis learned that Gemma had intended to drop out of school, a topic she had clearly forgotten to mention to him, well, ever.

“Gemma, I will not have you throwing your studies away to follow some New York City pipe dream!”

Louis chewed his food slowly, darting his eyes from each family member that was staring at Gemma in shock. Harry’s cheeks grew red as he set his fork down with a loud clang, “Not everyone wants to follow in your footsteps dad, why can’t Gemma find her own way in life?”

“She can find her way in life, but she certainly won’t be using my money to do it. I mean it Gemma, if you drop out that’s it. You will be cut off from this family.”

Gemma shot out of her chair, throwing her napkin on her plate. “Fine, I don’t care. I don’t need your money!”

She stomped out of the room, the table collectively wincing when the back door slammed shut. Their mom took a dainty sip of wine, nodding at Louis. “Is it like this in your home as well, Louis?”

“I’m afraid not Miss Cox, we don’t celebrate thanksgiving.”

Harry let out a hyena like laugh, slapping a hand over his mouth when his father sent him ‘the look’.

Louis could get used to making him laugh like that. 

…

After they helped with the dishes, Louis followed Harry out back, folding up in a pair of chairs out under the stars. He pulled out a smoke, offering one to Harry and biting the inside of his cheek to stop from smiling so hard his cheeks cracked at the pouty faced ‘no’ Harry gave him.

“Sorry about my family, they’re a little intense at times,”

He shrugged, tucking his feet up underneath himself. “No one’s perfect.”

“They pretend to be,”

Louis looked at him and almost wished he didn’t. He was insanely beautiful under the soft light of the moon. “Don’t we all?”

Harry hummed, his fingers drumming on his leg. “So, what’s your family like?”

“Quiet. Just me and my mum,”

Harry sighed wistfully, “That must be nice.”

Louis glanced at him out of the side of his eye, wondering how to approach the boyfriend topic subtly when Gemma clamped a hand on his shoulder, startling him out of his revelry.

“Let’s get out of here.”

…

They ended up at a terribly lit bowling alley drinking cheap beers, wearing even cheaper shoes, and Louis falling just a little bit harder for Harry with each passing minute. He watched as Harry wiggled his pert little bum, that flirty smile spread wide across his face like he knew he was slowly killing Louis from the inside out. He spun around and tossed his ball down the lane with zero finesse, yet managed to knock all of the pins down regardless. The pure delight on his face as he threw his arms around Louis’ neck called for another beer.

He waited at the counter, humming quietly under his breath, “Falling, yes I am falling…”

Gemma took the beer he offered as he slid into the seat next to her, eagerly bouncing up and down. He shot her an inquisitive look. “What?”

“I want to go to New York,”

Louis sputtered on his drink, wiping the foamy bits off the front of his shirt. “Right now?”

She pulled the bottle out of his hands, replacing it with her own. She searched his face, nodding quickly. “Yes, right now. Forget about this life, I want to _live_!”

Louis’ eyes betrayed him, swinging over to where Harry was animatedly chatting with a group of their friends. Gemma’s eyes followed his, a knowing smile tugging on her lips. “He’s got a boyfriend, you know.”

He did know. And he knew it wasn’t the right time. But he could wait. He cupped Gemma’s face, leaning his forehead against hers. “That’s okay; I’ve got a fake girlfriend.” She rolled her eyes. He pulled her in for a hug, his eyes meeting Harry’s over her shoulder. He tried to tell him ‘I’ll be back for you’ as best he could without saying the words at all, and without Harry even knowing himself.

“Let’s go to New York.”

 

*

**New York City**

 

“Where did you say you found this apartment?” Louis sniffed the air. Incense. Marijuana. Takeout curry. Was this what freedom was supposed to smell like?

Gemma dragged him up the creaky stairs, clutching a crumpled flyer in her hands. “A friend of a friend before we left school recommended it to me. It’s a close friend of their friend Jill.”

Louis looked at her warily as she quietly knocked on the door. She stood back as it opened seconds later, sucking in a shaky breath.

A dark haired, _gorgeou_ s man clad in a silky robe stared at them with heavy eyes. “Can I help you?”

“We’re here…about the room?”

He nodded slowly, waving them in, “Cool, cool. Follow me.”

The apartment was actually quite large, with huge windows letting in the early morning light, quirky lamps, beaded curtains, scented candles and a mish mash of furniture giving it a shabby chic look. Louis peered into the section of the apartment that could possibly be their second home. Gemma watched him with careful, hopeful eyes.

“Yeah, alright. We’ll take it.”

Their new landlord didn’t show any change in emotion, but finally introduced himself. “I’m Zayn. I sleep during the day because I have gigs at night. So do not, by any means wake me up. Rents due on the first of the month. Cheers.”

He breezed back through the flimsy curtain made up of colored scarves and left them blinking at each other in awe. Gemma did a little shimmy. “We did it! New York City!”

Louis wandered over to the window, carefully lifting it up and popping his head out. Their view was another building of course, but through the cracks you could see tiny piece of the city skyline.

“Now what?”

Gemma propped her head on his shoulder, giving them a squeeze.

“Everything.”

…

Louis wasn’t sure if time more moved quickly in New York City, but the months passed by in a blink of an eye. They learned that Zayn wasn’t as surly as he seemed when they first met him; that he was quite a talented musician, and he had a live in boyfriend, Niall, who played guitar for him.

They also had loud sex more often than not, but Louis couldn’t complain too much. That was Gemma’s job.

They also inherited Liam, a doe eyed boy that was like a lost puppy in the streets. He had left his home in the Midwest with no plans, no money, but a fear behind his eyes that told a sad story he wasn’t quite ready to share yet. He had sat in back booth watching one of Zayn’s performance, clapping louder than any of them had ever done before. He instantly took a shine to him.

And it was at one of Zayn’s shows where the empty spot in Louis’ heart filled up again.

Harry paused in the doorway, ducking his head down to whisper in Gemma’s ear. She pressed a kiss to his cheek and gripped his hand as they walked over to the table they had acquired for the night.

He was just as beautiful as Louis remembered; the curls were a little longer, his clothes were a little hippier, but he still had that dimple and tilt to his lips that made Louis dig his fingers into his thigh.

Louis stood up, unsure what to do with his, well, anything. “Harry, long time no see, what brings you to the big city, you good? You look good.”

Gemma shot him a look, pushing Harry into a chair and sliding one out for herself, “Jesus Christ, relax Louis, he literally just got in. Let him breathe.”

He shook his head at Gemma, a faint smile on his lips when he drew his eyes back over to Louis. “It’s fine, and I’m well, thank you for asking. I just needed to get away for a while. So, here I am.”

Louis spread his arms open, “No better place to lose yourself than New York City,”

“So I’ve been told.”

Harry turned his attention to Niall and Zayn who had returned to the table with tray fulls of drinks. While he was distracted with introductions, Louis leaned over to whisper in Gemma’s ear. 

“Can I be nosy?” She nodded, as if already expecting his question. “Harry’s not in trouble or anything, is he?”

She leaned in closer, watching Harry out of the corner of her eye. “Bad breakup.”

“Oh.”

_Oh._

Louis traced the condensation on his pint glass, contemplating this information. He wondered how long was considered polite before he could tell Harry that he’s probably been in love with him since the first day he saw him.

He could feel Gemma’s eyes burning into the side of his head. He ignored her, deciding to instead be endlessly fascinated by the crack in the table. A minute went by and impatience had clearly settled in as Louis felt a pair of lips brush against his ear.

“If you break his heart, I will kill you in your sleep.”

Louis chuckled, turning his head to meet her dancing eyes. “Okay tough guy, practicing for Army already?”

Harry suddenly whipped his head around, his mouth curled into a frown. “What do you mean the Army?”

Gemma sighed heavily, reaching across the table for his hand. “I was going to tell you H, I just wanted you to settle in first; you already have enough to deal with,”

He pulled his hand away, crossing his arms against his chest. In his attempt to look angry, he just looked like a grumpy toddler and Louis was in pain. A person you hardly know should not cause you this much pain.

“You _know_ how I feel about this, Gemma,”

She nodded, leaning forward to reach out and touch him again. “I know kiddo, but I’ll be helping people. You can go out and fight it your own way, but this is mine.”

Harry chewed on his thumb, mulling it over. His shoulders slumped in defeat. Louis wanted to kiss him now, _and_ when he was sixty four. “How long?”

“About a month and a bit, so we have lots of time yet. And of course you can stay here as long as you like,” she gave Louis’ thigh a squeeze, winking at Harry, “And when I’m gone, Lou will take care of you.”

Louis’ leg twitched under her hand, Harry’s eyes widened to the size of saucers, and Gemma threw her head back with a throaty laugh.

Zayn stood up, throwing a fistful of money onto the table, “Let’s take this party home.”

Harry and Louis remained still, blinking at each other under the moody flickering lights, not realizing the rest of the table was almost out the door.

“Are you donuts coming, or what?”

Who knows how long Harry had gone without breathing, but he finally released the one breath he was holding before rising out of his chair. Louis followed him out the door into the chilly spring air, lagging behind when Harry huddled under Gemma’s arm, leaning his head close to hers to share a few whispered words.

She kissed his hair and hugged him closer.

They strolled past neon lights, and flyers for peace marches, and graffiti walls with sayings that Harry would read aloud to himself; his voice quiet and hidden under the loud banter of their friends.

But Louis could hear him clear as day.

“If I fell in love with you, would you promise to be true.”

…

After a week of living with Harry, Louis had come to learn he was a neat freak, an amazing cook, and that he wanted to save the world one peace sign at a time.

He may have had dreamy, innocent eyes, but Louis understood that is where it ended. He was passionate about his beliefs, he caught people off guard with mouthy comebacks and horrible jokes, and was open and honest about himself and his penchant for kissing boys.

The last bit weighed on Louis’ mind a lot. 

In fact, it was the only thing currently consuming him as he watched Harry from across the room.

They had people over again after Zayn’s latest show; the music was heavy and moody throughout the smoke filled room, the sharp twang of Niall plucking his guitar strings ringing out as Zayn danced lazily behind him, tucking his nose into his hair from time to time.

Gemma was twirling her fingers through Liam’s wild curls, her eyes closed and a relaxed smile on her face. Harry plucked the unlit joint out of her hand and turned towards the big chair Louis had made his home base for the night.

Louis pursed his lips, willing his heart to slow down as Harry approached him. He stopped and slowly kneeled down, propping his chin onto the arm of Louis’ chair. “You want to smoke with me?”

'I want to do everything with you', he thought. He tapped a finger on the end of Harry’s nose. “New York's corrupting you, Curly,”

Harry just looked at him and leaned back on his heels, sparking the end of the joint. He stood up and time suddenly slowed down for Louis because Harry was now in his space, placing a knee on each side of his body.

He sat on Louis’ thighs, joint held out like a peace offering, as if he knew that he almost killed Louis with this very slick move. “You want to smoke with me?”

Louis nodded, accepting the joint with a shaky hand. He sucked in the heady weed, blowing it up towards the ceiling a beat later. Harry’s eyes followed the hazy swirls, startling when Louis slipped the joint between his lips.

They sat there passing it back and forth until it burnt the tips of Louis’ fingers, though he barely felt it at all. He couldn't feel anything when his entire being itched to put his hands all over Harry.

Harry shifted in his lap, making the task even more difficult for him. He bit his lip to suppress a groan, but noticed the way Harry’s eyelashes fluttered against his rosy cheeks. He had a choice here. He could ignore his feelings for another few weeks, or he could seize the moment.

He pat Harry’s thighs, indicating that he needed to get up. He shuffled back and waited for Louis’ next move.

He grabbed his hand, slipping his fingers into his warm palm and tugged him towards his bedroom.

Louis didn’t bother checking to see if anyone was paying attention, he was too charged up now. He placed Harry in the middle of the room, turning back to shut the door.

The only light in the room was the low hanging moon filtering through the flimsy curtains he kept meaning to replace, highlighting Harry’s already luminous porcelain skin.

All it took was a few steps and his hand was in Harry’s curls, stroking down to cup his chin.

“I’m going to kiss you now,”

Harry closed his eyes, his lips parted in anticipation. Louis licked his own, his heart hammering against his chest. He’d been wanting, no, _needing_ to know what Harry felt like since the moment he first saw him.

Were his lips as plush as they seemed? He leaned in, nipping Harry’s lower lips in-between his teeth.

They were.

His fingers skimmed the creamy white side of his neck as he urged his lips onwards. Harry was trembling and breathless already as Louis walked them towards edge of the bed. Their lips were tentative at first, but after a few timid kisses, it was like they had been meant to do this all along.

Harry gripped the back of his shirt, spreading his legs so Louis could fit himself in between them.

It was a perfect fit.

Louis flicked his tongue against his ear, reveling in the full body shiver he received in return. He nosed at the springy curls, fanning his fingers out onto Harry’s heaving chest. “I’ve wanted you since the first day we met,”

Harry placed a hand over the one on his chest, trailing it down until it reached the fly of his jeans.

“If you want it, here it is, come and get it.”

Louis couldn't argue with that.

…

The next morning they stumbled out of Louis’ room, Harry attached to his back and smiling into his neck. Gemma lowered the magazine she was reading at the kitchen table, quirking an eyebrow.

“Do we have something to say for ourselves?”

Harry sent her a devilish grin, “Yeah, Louis is great in bed.”

She rolled her eyes, tossing the magazine aside. “Should have figured that was coming,” she quickly held up a finger, glaring at Harry, “Don’t even say it.”

“Say what?”

Liam strolled into the kitchen, plopping down in the empty mismatched chair. Gemma poked him in the shoulder. “Where did you come from, I thought you and Zayn left with that odd DJ last night?”

“I came in through the bathroom window,”

Louis snorted, pulling out two mugs out of the cupboard. “Piss off.”

Liam laughed, making grabby hands at one of the coffee cups. “No seriously, it was the only window open. Zayn forgot the keys.” He tipped his head, taking in the placement of Harry’s arm, which was now woven around Louis’ waist. “What happened here?”

Gemma pat his hand, shaking her head, “Is it really not obvious?”

“Oh of course it is, I just wanted to hear Louis finally admit that he loooooves Harry,”

Louis pulled Harry in closer, planting several kisses to his flushed cheeks. “The sun is up, the sky is blue, its beautiful and so are you.” Harry simply beamed at him. He handed over a steaming mug to Liam, “How was that?”

The collective groans and puking noises were answer enough.

…

Later on that night when they were curled up in bed, Harry placed his hand on Louis’ beating heart.

“Do you?”

Louis hummed under his breath, fingers drifting down to touch Harry’s lips. “Do I what, love?”

“Love me,”

He shifted on the bed so his fingers were replaced with his lips. He smiled in between each kiss.

“Yeah, yeah, yeah.”

 

*

The closer Gemma’s date to leave drew near, the more involved Harry became with anti war activist work. He knew that he couldn't stop her from going, not like his father had stopped him, but he would do whatever he could to get his voice heard.

At one of the rallies he went to he met Nick Grimshaw, the editor of a somewhat radical news publication. Louis had gone to a few of Nick's speeches with Harry, but he wasn't as enthralled as the rest of the people hanging onto his every word.

But he couldn't say anything when Harry was offered a volunteer position at his office; if Harry was happy, that was the only thing that he cared about. But he would certainly keep an eye on Nick.

As spring started to blossom around them, Louis had taken up drawing and painting to fill his own void of Gemma’s impending absence. The ache in his heart grew bigger each day that passed, so he soothed it with watercolors and vibrant splotches and moody charcoals. Those usually came out when Harry was gone as well. He had always dabbled a little, but now that he had nothing but time he would get lost for hours in deep greens and sharp lines that resembled the profile he watched fall asleep every night.

It was a piece of his art - a t-shirt he had messed around with that Zayn deemed worthy of his stage wear, that had gotten both of them noticed by a record exec. They talked album designs and Zayn’s velvety voice over aged scotch, and that was how they had ended up at a party for an up and coming artist in the poshest apartment they had ever seen.

Harry tugged on his coat as they assessed the crowd of people glowing under the black lights, "What kind of party is this exactly?"

Gemma pinched his cheek on her way to a bowl of punch, dipping one of the surrounding cups in, "Afraid you'll be asked to join an orgy, H?"

Zayn pinched his other cheek, following Gemma's lead by filling a glass to the brim with bright pink liquid. "Nah, he's too cute for that,"

Louis wrapped his arms around Harry's waist, pulling him against his back, "He's too mine for that."

Gemma tossed her drink back, shaking her hips afterwards. "Well I'm going to let loose, seeing as it's my last weekend as a free woman," she handed two glasses over to Harry and Louis, "drink up donuts, I'll catch you on the flip side."

She turned on her heel and disappeared into the crowd, leaving them to eye up their glasses suspiciously.

Liam seemed to be having an inner debate on whether to drink it as well, while Zayn practically poured it down Niall’s throat. He licked the few droplets off his lips after and reached over to push Liam’s towards his mouth, "Let's all take a trip."

Harry looked down at his cup and back up at Louis, a worried line drawn across his forehead. Louis lifted his thumb, tracing the doubt away. He pressed it into his dimple when Harry finally smiled.

"Trust me."

...

A half an hour later they were in the middle of a self-made dance floor, howling with laughter. Louis jumped up and down, clapping his hands together, "I am the egg man, goo goo g’joob,”

Harry grabbed his stomach, hunching over as he wheezed out a gut wrenching laugh, "Why are you an egg?!"

"I am the walrus?"

He fell over and landed flat in his back, still clutching his stomach. Louis dropped down beside him, trying to pull him up with no avail, "Babyyyy,"

Harry's laughter died down, but he sat up suddenly, clutching onto Louis' shoulders. He blinked a few times, finally focusing on his lips. He moved one hand to the side of his neck, running his fingers along the gruff whiskers on Louis' chin.

"Wanna touch you,"

Louis sucked in a breath, reaching out to grab onto his hip, "You are, love."

Harry shook his head, sitting up on his knees to shuffle closer, his hands somehow ending up under Louis' shirt, "Everywhere. I want to feel you everywhere."

Louis felt like he was in a hypnotic trance. There was music playing, but it was Harry’s voice that carried him off his feet. It was muffled yet loud; there were people everywhere, but all he could sense was them.

There was a long hallway and doors, a flash of familiar faces - was that Gemma and Liam?? - when finally he was falling, falling, falling.

He fell back onto cool sheets, but Harry spread through him like a fire.

Their clothes seemed to shed themselves and Harry’s mouth left no part of his skin untouched; as if they had days to map each other out. Louis painted a canvas of Harry’s body in his mind every day, but he never felt there was enough time to learn it completely.

Now, in this lust driven fever dream he would lick the freckles on Harry's shins; leave darkened finger prints on the insides of his pale, pale thighs, he would press his lips to the arch of his back while he fills him up. He will remember how it felt to be this close and memorize the way Harry’s heart beat when he called out Louis' name.

The high may not last forever, but the image of Harry’s dewy skin, damp curls and red bitten lips whispering "I love you" will be ingrained into his soul until his dying day.

It could have been hours, or it could have been days that passed by as they traced their fingers towards the ceiling in nonsense patterns, lying side by side and finally catching their breath.

Louis' circled his fingers around Harry’s wrist so he could follow along with the pattern he was drawing.

A heart.

"Love is old, love is new, love is all, love is you."

Louis curled into him, kissing his side, "You're a poet and you didn't even know it,"

He felt Harry titter; felt the smile he didn't have to see to know it was there.

They stilled after a while, eyes closing for a few minutes, or so they thought.

...

It was midday when they finally found everyone else.

They all agreed what happened at the party stayed at the party.

Especially Gemma and Liam.

 

*

As it turned out, Gemma leaving was even harder than they thought. She was the glue that had welded their tight knit family together, which wasn't apparent until the day she left.

Harry amped up the volunteer work, which just made Louis loathe Nick even more. When he went to pick Harry up from work he would be hovering too close; his hand lingering a little too long on his back, which sparked snippy comments from Louis. Harry avoided the subject, which in turn caused Louis to avoid it as well. So instead, he would hole up and paint.

The imbalanced mood was in the air though; Zayn and Niall started fighting over their record deal, and Liam retreated back into lost puppy mode because of it.

There seemed to be war everywhere they looked.

...

Harry was working longer hours. There never seemed to be time anymore. Louis smoked and had empty, dreamless sleeps. But all he ever saw when he closed his eyes was Harry.

He took to drawing him. His hands. His mouth. His eyes. When he napped on the couch, Louis would make sketch upon sketch of his back.

Which was what he was currently spending his time doing.

He watched and drew, absently chewing on his lip while he attempted to get the curve of his shoulder just right. It was when he turned and had the faintest smile on those beautiful lips, even in the deepest sleep, that Louis knew he never had to doubt a thing.

He picked up a pen and signed the bottom of his latest piece.

"Somewhere in his smile he knows, that I don't need no other lover."

He wiped his hands on his jeans and grabbed a smoke, clamoring out onto the fire escape.

There was a sharp chill in the air. He huddled further into his sweater, shivering inwardly.

"You're drawing me again,"

He smiled to himself. "Always, love."

A moment later warm lips were on his neck. "Are you ever going to get that fourth nipple right,"

"Ha."

Harry sighed, running his frosty nose against Louis' cheek, "I've got to run again,"

Louis twisted around, anger simmering quickly in his veins. "You just got home Harry; you worked all night already,"

"Lou, you know how important this protest is for Nick--"

"What isn't? He's not saving the fucking world, Harry!"

Harry moved back inside the window, tightening the blanket around his body. "He's doing what he can."

He turned around and disappeared into their room, leaving Louis to stew in the unspoken words of 'which is more than I can say for you'.

He dragged a hand over his face, flicking his cigarette butt into the ashtray next to him. He hated fighting with Harry over this, it ate away at him. But something about Nick just didn't sit right with him.

...

He decided on a whim to stop by Harry's work on the way to meet Niall for some drinks and was smacked in the face with exactly why he couldn't stand Nick. He was hugging Harry tightly, smoothing a hand up and down his back, and Louis was done being a silent protester in this war.

He tugged open the door and barreled up to Harry and Nick just as they pulled apart. He pushed his way in from of Nick, stabbing a finger into his chest.

"You say you want a revolution, well, you know, we _all_ want to change the world."

Nick flicked his eyes down at his finger, narrowing them when he brought them back up. “What are you trying to say there, brother,"

"I'm not you're brother, he's not your boyfriend, and you're not really changing the world here, are you."

Nick’s hand dropped to his side, curling into a fist. "You want to say that again?"

"Fuck you."

The crunch of Nick’s nose wasn't as satisfying as it should have been when he saw the look of horror on Harry’s face.

"Jesus Louis, what are you doing?!

Nick snarled. "Get him the fuck out of here!”

Louis shrugged away from the hand that attempted to clamp down on his shoulder. “I'm leaving, don't worry about it."

He bolted out the door, leaning his hands on his knees as he bent over to catch a breath.

“You didn't have to do this you know,”

He couldn't look at Harry right now. Instead he choose to walk away.

“Yeah. I did.”

…

Louis slumped into the stool next to Niall, signaling the bartender for a drink. He nudged Niall’s shoulder, picking up the shot that was placed in front of him. “How goes it,”

He nodded at the discarded paper next to him, "I read the news today, oh boy."

“Never good, is it.”

“Nope.”

They sipped their drinks in silence. Louis turned to face him, noting the frown on Niall’s usually upturned lips. “So, what's really going on?”

His shoulders sagged. “Fought with Zayn again,”

“Same. I fought with Harry.”

Niall tipped his glass to Louis’ “A day in the life, hey?”

“Sadly these days, it is.” Louis downed his shot and half the pint he had just received, patting Niall on the back. “Let’s talk about something else,”

“Gladly, mate.”

…

They stumbled home tipsy and temporarily happy, though that didn't last long.

Harry had waited up for him, jumping up from the couch when he heard Louis’ footsteps.

Louis kicked off his shoes and padded into the kitchen for a glass of water, still not ready to face Harry.

Even though he knew he was standing a few feet behind him.

“I’m tired Harry, can we talk about this in the morning?”

“No, Lou, we can’t. You don’t get to just punch people I work with and go out and get drunk and then not talk about it,”

Louis turned around, finally looking at Harry for what seemed like the first time in days. He missed him, which was impossible since he was right in front of him. “I already had the plans to get drunk, the punching was a spur of the moment kind of thing,”

Harry shot him a darkened look. “ _Louis_ ,”

“What? What do you want me to say, Harry!?”

He folded his arms across his chest, his stance defensive. “Sorry? That would be a start,”

“I will always be sorry for causing you any pain, but I won’t apologize for Nick, not when I don’t even know what you’re doing—“

Harry gave his hair a frustrated tug, “Lou, you know why I do this! Gemma’s out there, I could be out there, but I'm with you!

"You say that like it’s a bad thing."

Harry’s eyes flickered in pain. "Louis, I love you. Please don't put words in my mouth,"

He gave a small shrug. "Why not, you're letting Nick fill your head with his."

After that they were left wordless. They stared at each other from what seemed like a great divide.

Harry crossed it a minute later, kneeling down and hugging his arms around Louis’ thighs.

“Oh darling, if you leave me, I’ll never make it alone,”

Louis raked a hand through his messy curls. “Not even if I was dragged away kicking and screaming.”

 …

Which, oddly enough, was how it happened.

All of the extra hours that Harry had been putting in with Nick was for an upcoming protest that Harry had repeatedly asked him to attend, “Please, try and come Louis. Maybe you’ll understand what this is all for.”

He didn't think he would ever fully understand. But for Harry he would try.

Harry was everything. There were people all around him. But Harry was his universe.

_Nothing's gonna change my world._

Except that everything changed in an instant.

What was supposed to be a peaceful protest turned ugly in a matter of moments. There were blurs of angry faces; guns going off, and police officers arresting whoever they could get their hands on.

Louis being one of those people.

The last thing he was saw was Harry’s tear stained face reaching out for him as he was held back by a wall of blue uniforms.

“Louis!!!! Please, don't take him!!"

...

It was the only thing that echoed in his ears and his heart for days after.

 

*

**Liverpool**

 

It was quiet at home. That’s the only thing Louis appreciated really. After the protest he ended up being deported.

No chance for last goodbyes.

Gemma got transferred back. He was glad Harry wasn't alone.

Nick ended up in jail.

Niall and Zayn made up and ditched the contract.

Liam met a nice girl. Louis was happy for him.

These were all updates he received in letters from Gemma. All of them ending with the same thing.

“Come back.”

Dozens of letters. All of them left unanswered.

 ...

He sat on a stool in an empty pub as he pulled the latest letter out of his pocket. He held it in his hands, flipping it around as he decided on whether or not to open it.

He felt movement behind him, casting Hannah a sideways smile as she sat down next to him.

She drew her eyes over his face, a question in her eyes. “Why are you here, Lou? You could have gone back weeks ago,”

He shrugged. “Dunno.” He glanced down at the familiar writing on the envelope. “Maybe I should let it be.”

Hannah’s eyes were sad when he looked at her head on. She leaned in to wrap him in a hug. “Oh Lou. Don't carry the world upon your shoulders.” Her voice was quiet in his ear. “You love him, yeah?”

“More than I'll ever love anything.”

“So,” She kissed his cheek, whipping the trace of lipstick away after. “You have found him, now go and get him.”

Memories of Harry skipped through his mind; going back to the very first second he laid eyes on him. Sweet, loving, beautiful Harry.

His baby.

He hopped off his stool, pressing a rough kiss to the top of Hannah's head.

“You were always smarter than me,”

“ _Go_!

For the second time in his life, she pushed him towards his future.

*

“You're a fucking idiot, you know that?”

Gemma may have been to war, but the sassy twitch of her lips he had always loved was still there.

He enveloped her in a hug, swaying them back and forth. She sniffed, mumbling into his coat, "I told you not to break his god damn heart,"

"I'm so sorry." There weren't enough sorrys in the world to make up for it he thought.

"I know.”  She ushered him into the waiting car, winking at him as she tugged her door open. “Now make it right"

…

Zayn and Niall were in the midst of putting on an illegal rooftop concert, which Gemma deemed the perfect venue for a romantic gesture. 

Louis wasn’t so convinced seeing as illegal things were what partly got him into this mess in the first place, but he would go to hell and back for him.

After a few shared tearful hello’s with Zayn, Niall and Liam, Louis stood back and watched them rehearse a few songs while he waited for whatever it was they had planned for him.

He rubbed a hand over his shaggy hair, bouncing on the soles of his feet, anxiety setting in with each slow minute that passed. “Are you sure he’s coming?”

“H wouldn't pass up a chance to piss off law enforcement,” Gemma walked over to the edge of the building eyes scanning the already growing crowd of curious on lookers, eyes brightening after a few moments, “I’d know those curls anywhere.”

She ran back over to Louis, pushing him towards the mic stand. “Okay, you’re up!”

Louis looked at Zayn and Niall with panicked eyes, “What do you mean, I’m up? I thought Zayn was singing, I can’t sing, I—“

Zayn shook his head, tossing him another mic, “I’ll start you off. Go stand back over there and sing the chorus when I give you the signal,”

Gemma passed him a lyric sheet and he swallowed the thick lump in his throat as he walked over the spot that Gemma was previously in. He peered over and there, in the sea of faces, was the only one he had ever been able to see clearly.

And like there was some sort of magnetic pull between the two of them, Harry looked up as well, blinking those lovely eyes up at him. His mouth dropped open in shock as Zayn’s buttery vocals wrapped around them.

“There’s nothing you can do that can’t be done. Nothing you can sing that can’t be sung. Nothing you can say but you can learn how to play the game. It’s easy.”

Louis smiled down at him, tears shining behind his eyes. He waited for the signal from Zayn and lifted the mic to his lips.

“All you need is love. All you need is love. All you need is love, love. Love is all you need.”

He mouthed ‘I love you’ after passing the mic back off to Gemma. Harry mouthed it back.

“He loves you, yeah, yeah, yeah!”

Louis burst out laughing at the musical styling’s of Gemma, Niall and Liam, wiping away the few tears that slipped out, waving at Harry to come up.

He turned on his heel and ran over to the stairwell, his feet heavy on the metal steps until he ran smack into a warm body.

He felt arms around him and lips in his hair, and he could only cry harder as he clung to Harry.

“I’m sorry, I’m so sorry baby. I said I would never leave you,”

Harry held his face in his hand, leaning their foreheads together. “We have a love that lasts forever. I knew you’d come back.”

Louis let out a watery laugh. “You’re stuck with me now, I’m afraid,”

“I’m not afraid.”

Louis trailed his fingers over his face, trying to capture the way he looked right now so he could paint him later.

“Let’s go home.”

Harry placed a palm over Louis’ heart. “You are my home.”

Louis captured his lips, mumbling into his mouth, “Sap.”

Harry took his time kissing him back, savoring the feel of him after so long apart. Louis felt him shrug under his arms. “I was told that all you need is love,”

When Louis looked at Harry bright and vibrant in the summer sun, he saw forever.

“Love is all you need.”

 

♥


End file.
